Girl's Best Friend

Sookie has been cuddled and rode and tortured from one side of the house to the next, down to the horse field, across the yard, in their secret little world of make believe Layla and Sookie have been by each others side and a lot of times on top of each other! I was thinking of all the wonderful little games we have witnessed them playing Sookie clearly clueless just willing to be by Layla's side. I am just amazed at the patience and love she has had with this little person who was learning right from wrong and understanding that hey dogs can feel pain too! 

I think Sookie has brought so much to our household for each and every one of us. She is excited when everyone comes home, she is a companion when you are all alone, someone to play in the yard with, and cuddle on the couch with. There are times when she is bad. We keep joking that she is bulking up for winter because we literally have to hide the bread in a cabinet from her or she will eat it all, whole loaves at a time!!!  Her good outshines the bad and we all love her and I don't know what we would do without her. Everything would be a little less hairy probably but also a lot less exciting! 

 

R E D I Can Spell Red

Everyday when I pick Layla up from school I ask her how her day went and what she learned in class, and everyday she just reports her lunch menu to me and if they had ketchup or didn't. I was worrying myself to death thinking she was losing everything we have taught her because it seemed as if she was picking up lots of bad habits and learning nothing new! She was even mixing her alphabet all up and she has been able to recite the alphabet for probably two years!

One day last week she surprised me because out of nowhere she just started singing a little song:

R E D I can spell red

R E D I can spell red

Firetrucks are red

Stop signs are red too

R E D I can spell red

I cried. I couldn't help it. I was so excited because I realized that hey something is going on in that little place I send my baby to everyday and she is actually doing more than getting rocks stuck in her shoe! It was one of the most amazing moments for me as a Mama so far. I know its only a little song but its the beginning of something big, her education. I want her to learn everything and experience everything and do the best she can. I know that a lot of parents have struggles getting their children to focus and since Layla has had a speech delay and hearing problems since birth it has always worried me to death that she will be behind the other kids her age. She has been in speech therapy for about a year and a half I always try to make sure that she doesn't get frustrated or hurt feelings when people can't understand her. I think the last set of tubes she had put in this July did a world of wonders and her speech seems to be improving everyday. Hearing that little song was seriously heart warming for me and I can't even explain how relieved it made me feel that she is in there with all the other kids doing her best and being proud of what she learned. I hope that her love for learning only continues and I know we have a long road ahead of us and many more speech classes to attend but it is so very worth it, no matter how frustrated she gets with me and those ending k and g sounds.

P.s. She can also spell orange. Genius I tell ya!

And she's working on her names Layla and her altar ego Heart Girl <3

On The Outside Looking In

With the absence of her dad in her everyday life I used to feel like Layla was missing out on something that every little child needs, the presence of two parents. Two people who are role models, two people who can teach the little things, two people who can brush and shush and rush. Realizing that I had to be both of those people for Layla has been a very long hard learning experience. I know now that sometimes the hardest choices we make are ultimately the easiest and best choices for our little ones. Staying with him to ensure that he stayed involved in her life was much more hurtful to her and me than deciding to do everything on my own. I understand now that one positive role model in Layla's everyday life will be much more rewarding to her than our previous circumstances. She is learning from me everyday as I continue to learn from her. I'm not saying we don't struggle because we do everyday. I have to fight her to brush her teeth, get in the shower, get out of the shower, concentrate on getting dressed (not always just when she wants extra attention) It's always worse when I work and she goes to school because she misses me and I'm tired, and we are clashing because we act just alike. But things get done, she is taken care of, she has food in her belly, clean clothes on her body and we end up giggling and laughing before the night is over.

I will always love my daughter and I will make sure that when she is an adult she has happy memories from her childhood, I will be firm in teaching her right from wrong because she learns from me. We treat our friends with kindness and respect, we say please, we say thank you, we don't use mean words. Life is what you make of it, for us and for them. I will always have my daughters best interest at heart and would never purposefully keep her from anyone. When her father gets his life together I will be more than happy to let her spend time with him alone and thats what I pray for everyday that they will be able to have some type of relationship because I know they love each other. He is just in a bad place right now, and I'm not subjecting my daughter to that lifestyle anymore.

I will just hug her, kiss her, teach her, and love her enough for both of us and I will never speak ill of him to her because I wouldn't have her without him. It's been a really really hard year for me, and this week has been one of the toughest but that little girl and her smile is what keeps me going. I'm so thankful to my family and friends and what they have stood by me through and I'll never be able to repay them for the love they had for me during the hardest time in my life so far. I'm thankful today for finally being outside of the situation and looking in.

Just a few pictures of me and my little explorer.